Hoors? Yeah... Hoors. Prostitutes, Tarts, Hookers, Ladies of Negotiable Affection, call them what you will. For 8 years or so I lived in granite tenement. My Neighbours Were Hoors. Sadly for us all (!?) the brothel was closed down and I moved out of the area. I never did get around to writing about the court case though...

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Back in a bit...

No posts for a couple of weeks as I'm off to swim in the mud at Glastonbury!

Monday, June 11, 2007

Poor Girl!

I should have posted about this a while ago but never got around to it...

I was talking a few weeks back to the young lady who has moved into the flat previously occupied by The Hoors. After a few minutes of chatting she asked who lived in the flat before her.

"Aaaah, ummm, aaah, errrr...." I fumbled looking for a way to break this to her gently.

"Och, don't worry about that! I know what TYPE of people lived here before - I just need to know what name the phone was under"

"Ohhhhh.... It was under the name of A. Madame."

"Thanks very much," she said, "only I need to phone up BT and get them to change the phone number."

There is a few brief moments as my sleepy thoughts process this information and the penny finally drops.

"Oh no. No. Really!? They didn't change the number before you moved in!?"

I look pale. She grimaces and nods. "Oh aye. After a couple of incoming calls, I soon figured out what the flat was used for."

Sunday, June 03, 2007

I know what your cat has been up to

Ladies and Gentlemen. Sitemeter is a very useful (and free) tool. Never let it be said that I don't give any blogging tools free publicity.

You can see where people accessing your site live.

You can see when they access the site from their workplace (and hence I'd like to say a big "HI!" to all the uk government workers out there :)

And more to the point, you can see what they were searching for on google when they found your site.

And that, faithful readers, lets me know an awful lot about the strange people out there. I have previously blogged about "my neighbours don't like me," "what should I do if I suspect someone is running a brothel" and "How do I decorate my flat like a brothel interior." But nothing could have prepared me for this:

"Why does my female cat like to play in my dirty undies"


Answer: I don't know. Perhaps there is a Dr Pussy Freud out there with a comfortable couch and inkblots of balls of string and toy mice that might be able to help you out?

Either that or stop washing your pats in new Bold Non-Biological Catnip Fresh.