Hoors? Yeah... Hoors. Prostitutes, Tarts, Hookers, Ladies of Negotiable Affection, call them what you will. For 8 years or so I lived in granite tenement. My Neighbours Were Hoors. Sadly for us all (!?) the brothel was closed down and I moved out of the area. I never did get around to writing about the court case though...

Sunday, October 30, 2005

ok... ok... A translation

"Voulez vous quelque compagnie pendant le soir?"
French: Would you like some company for the evening?
"Putains! Putains ici, pas trop chères! Venez ici pour des putains!"
French: Prostitutes! Prostitutes here, very cheap! Come here for the prostitutes!"

"Fraulein Jasmine ist ausserst freundlich!"
German: Miss Jasmine is very friendly!

"Potrebbe forse una puttana per stasera?"
Italian: Would you perchance like a prostitute for this evening?

"Moecha Putida!"
Latin: Dirty Slut

"Pijpen, neuken, 50 euro..."
Dutch: Blowjob, fuck, 50 euros!

Consider yourselves EDUCATED!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Hoors In The News Continued

So. Yeah. A continuation of my last post about Grey Toon Hoors in the local paper...
Where I last left off, a Grey Toon Surgeon had been caught having a "spot of tiffin" with a hoor dressed as a schoolgirl and a hoor dressed as a french maid. You have to hand it to them... there's nothing like a good imagination and an original outfit :P

Anyway. To continue by quoting a witness to the raid...
"The premises were well run - it wasn't the sort of place you would expect to find in London, it was a high-class operation.

You see? Only the classiest of brothels for the Grey Toon. You can tell I'm trying to make out that our brothel is way classier than your average knocking shop...

It goes on.
Today the man running the sex den (typical local paper language) in the city's west end escaped a jail sentence... He turned up as the search was being conducted and pretended he was a customer but later admitted he was involved in running the enterprise. Aberdeen Sheriff Court heard he had ended up losing £7000 of his own cash after splitting his profits with the girls. (What a kind pimp!)

It then says how he was admonished for living off the earnings of prostitution and after a lot of other legal stuff I won't go into, states that he is "now a languages student at Northumbria University."

Now. Repeat after me...

"Voulez vous quelque compagnie pendant le soir?"
"Putains! Putains ici, pas trop chères! Venez ici pour des putains!"

"Fraulein Jasmine ist ausserst freundlich!"

"Potrebbe forse una puttana per stasera?"
"Moecha Putida!"

"Pijpen, neuken, 50 euro..."

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Hoors In The News

"SURGEON CAUGHT IN BROTHEL RAID!" cries today's local paper, The Evening Express...
"A north-east surgeon was caught up in a raid in a brothel, a court heard today."

The local is never interested in anyone that is not from the north-east. It is, indeed, a local paper for local people. I'm sure I've mentioned the story about it's sister paper (The Press and Journal) reporting on the sinking of the Titanic... "Titanic Sinks: North-East man drowns."
"The medic was found on the premises when it was searched by police...
"When the property was raided, police ound two women; one dressed as a French maid, the other as a schoolgirl"

Am I the only one picturing the doctor from The Simpsons here? Caught with a couple of big-lipped Simpsons bunny girls and one of those surgeons-light-things on his forehead? Laughing? Going hoohoohoohoohoo!
The article continues... But this girl has a night out to see to, so I'll tell you more about that later! :D