Hoors? Yeah... Hoors. Prostitutes, Tarts, Hookers, Ladies of Negotiable Affection, call them what you will. For 8 years or so I lived in granite tenement. My Neighbours Were Hoors. Sadly for us all (!?) the brothel was closed down and I moved out of the area. I never did get around to writing about the court case though...

Monday, July 16, 2007

What Could Have Been An Ethical Conundrum

People have been coming and going from Shetland Girl's flat that is up for sale, you can hear them go up the stairs.

The Boy and I were busy wrestling some heavy DIY detritus down the stairs and The Dad of a Potential Purchaser was just in time to open the door for us. (What a nice man).

He smiled and asked a few questions - like you should when you're buying a flat. Such as:
1) Do the buzzers work?
2) Does the roof leak?
3) Is the Council Tax particularly high?
4) What's it like parking outside?

All fine and well.
Happily I didn't have to lie to his next questions...
5) What are the neighbours like?
6) Is there a brothel on the ground floor?

Away went Potential Purchaser and her Dad, happy with my answers and discussing the Estate Agent's shirt.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Flat for sale!

It's been a good long time since Shetland Girl's little brother's mates (aka Busted) got a bollocking from Shetland Girl for peuking all over the stairs outside our flat(see this post) a (Also this post and this post leading up to this event). And I have to say things have been very quiet indeed upstairs - obviously Busted had been banned by Shetland Girl from renting out/squatting in/wrecking her flat and it has been empty!

On friday I came back home from Glastonbury to find a contortionist from a local estate agents dangling out the top part of the window putting up a big For Sale sign on the big windowpane below... Which is a shame because Shetland Girl (along with all the other tennants at the moment) has been a great neighbour. In fact for the first time since I moved in 8 years ago, the tenement is a peaceful place where we say hi to eachother and don't have any problems to sort out.

Now we get to start a whole new panicking train of thought. Who the hell is going to move in!?

Since I've been here... we've had drug dealers, Nazis, The Hoors (obviously), the mafia (or so the theory went at the time), a good few occasions of assault, credit card/lingerie/identity theft and numerous breaches of the peace. Before that there was reportedly a paedophile...

What are the odds? Realistically? Surely statistically we're due a pillar of the community something?

Ugh. Something tells me I'd better look up Amazon for the Usborne Serial Killers Spotters Guide