So yes, I'm still alive! I'm no deid yet!
As regular readers will know - there is nothing better than a chatty taxi driver to inspire me to post more tales of hoors in the Grey Toon. Well, I've had a boring lot of taxi drivers of late - except maybe the one who told us (at length) about how he dresses up as a teddy boy at weekends and how it's just like the old days when he jitterbugs with the Laydeez. He was verging on sinister to be honest... But I digress.
And now I have the full permission of my other source of Grey Toon Hoor News - my hairdresser - to relate some gossip. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before that this hairdressers is the hub the community and so on my last trip, I was treated to not one, but two Grey Toon Hoor Tales!
And this is the first.
Now my hairdresser holds charity fund raising events in her wee salon which she invites her regulars to. And much money is raised, much wine is consumed and much fun is had. At one particular event, three well dressed young ladies who come to her for regular styling were invited.
Now these lassies have amazing hair. They probably spend on their hair what I spend on cheap 3 for £10 deals on wine at Asdas. And that's a LOT. These ladies hair would certainly bankrupt a few of the smaller eastern european countries and their smart styles would lead even the most cynical of us to believe that they are employed as Gok Wan's personal assistants at the very least.
So of course they were invited along!
After the event, a whole lot of ladies went off to the local pub and my hairdresser nipped oot for a quick fag. Out there was one of the locals who beckoned her over. "Hemmin, Hairdresser X*" he says. (Because ab'dy kens my hairdresser - her salon is like the laundrette in Eastenders... beingthe hub of the entire community and all. Best place in the Grey Toon to find out the latest gossip on local celebs (well, Northsound DJs anyway) and the latest topical jokes and humour).
"Fit ye daen wi them lassies?" He asks.
"Och ye ken, charity thing. And a couple of drinks after" she says. "Fit wye?"
"Well me and my mates were jist wunnerin... Since whan did you start hingin' aroon wi hoors?"
*(names have been changed to protect the innocent)