Hoors? Yeah... Hoors. Prostitutes, Tarts, Hookers, Ladies of Negotiable Affection, call them what you will. For 8 years or so I lived in granite tenement. My Neighbours Were Hoors. Sadly for us all (!?) the brothel was closed down and I moved out of the area. I never did get around to writing about the court case though...

Monday, January 31, 2005

My Neighbours Are Hoors: A Glossary

Thanks to all my friends in the New World for their comments and feedback - apparently sometimes I get a bit carried away though. Hear me in real life and you'd need a translator! (Comparisons to fishwives are common). Thanks to all the commenters who helped me out with translations! (McFox, Kevin) If there are any more requests, I will oblige!

So henceforth, I proudly present...


Arsed Bothered. As in "I cannae be arsed" - I can't be bothered.

Baps Breasts or a floury bread roll.

Chav Definition once again from Urbandictionary.com. Now in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Corrie Coronation Street. A British soap opera.

Dour Of Miserable Countenance.

Foosty Rotten.

"Fuck You, You Fucking Fuck!" The best insult known to mankind.

Havering Speaking nonsense. Best word ever to appear in a song by The Proclaimers.

Hoor A Prostitute. I use it as a fond substitution for "whore." Also, a "maiden" in the Quran. That's not what this blog is about though...

Ken Not a guy called Kenneth, but "to know." As in "Ah ken!" - I know! Often added on to the end of a sentance as in "I think my neighbours are running a brothel, ken?" ie "I think my neighbours are running a brothel, you know?"

Jings, Crivvens and Help Ma Boab! Exclamation used originally in the Oor Wullie/Broons comics in the terrible Scottish newspaper, The Sunday Post. Now in common use.

Laddie Also "Loon" - a young man, a boy.

Michty Me! "Oh my goodness me!" (often said with a sharp intake of breath). Used to convey shock or exhaustion.

Min Man. As in, "Give me a break, man!" Often stuck in sentences by residents of the Grey Toon for no good grammatical reason (also Like, Ken, and Fit)

Ned See also "Chav" - A young hooligan, a waster, possibly a bit like Trailer Trash. When Britney got married in a tracksuit and ate burgers, she was a Ned.

Numpti Pronounced, "Nump-Tae" - a person of limited intellect, an eejit (stupid person), someone who continually makes (the same) mistakes.

Pissed/Pished Drunk. I could write a whole new blog on the amount of words Scots have for being drunk. and hence...

Pissheid Pronounced "Piss-heed" - a person who is a frequent visitor to drinking establishments and slavers (talks with little sense being made).

Peuk To Vomit. Something you do if you have been Pished. Something little kids like to do all over our stairwell. Grrrrrrrrrrr!

Polis Police. Pronounced, "Pole-isss"
- strangers who kick down your door in the middle of the night and shout "fuck, wrang hoos!" (meaning they have had a navigational error and are in the wrong premises.

Punter A Prostitute's Client. I've been told "John" is the American equivalent.

Quine A young lady, a girl.

Slag Slut. Woman of loose morals.

Slagging Bad-mouthing. "Slagging someone off" means you're not saying very nice things about them.

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