Hoors? Yeah... Hoors. Prostitutes, Tarts, Hookers, Ladies of Negotiable Affection, call them what you will. For 8 years or so I lived in granite tenement. My Neighbours Were Hoors. Sadly for us all (!?) the brothel was closed down and I moved out of the area. I never did get around to writing about the court case though...

Sunday, February 13, 2005

By Popular Request... The Naked Man

Well, I do have some other stuff to post about, but as there have been so many requests... I will tell you about the Naked Neighbour.

No idea why I didn't post it before, I guess I just didn't bother because he's not in this building. I've been seeing him regularly for about 3 years now, and me and the nice neighbour with the cool hair were talking last week when I discovered nice neighbour had been seeing him too.

Put it this way, it's pretty hard not to see him as he puts on his kitchen lights and then parades around in "the altogether!" In the nudd!

He lives on the same floor as me in the tennement across the back gardens from us. And boy he thinks he's mighty fine!

Which he actually is. He's sort of like the fat naked guy from Friends, but not fat. He's really quite buff. But I'm getting distracted.

A typical morning will go like this:

alarm: beep beeep beeeeeep!
me: surely it's only 3am
alarm: naaah. it's 7. you have to get up. you have to get up and go to work
me: fuck.
body: noooooooo!
*gets up and goes to the kitchen*
*drinks water*
*looks up*
me: Oh my! there is a semi naked man in the flat accross from me drinking water too. except he is naked from the waist up!
semi naked man: mmmm I have such a well toned torso. this is nice cool water
me: he must have slept in. hence his lack of shirt.
semi naked man: time to go
*semi naked man turns round and walks out of his kitchen showing his perfectly formed (and naked) buttocks.
me: *gasps* !?!?!??!

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