News from Tillydrone

My Tillydrone Correspondant writes today:

All has been quiet in my little corner of town; sadly as they say in the films too quiet.........

Was having a fantastic sleep last night, when I was interupted by some 3 Tillydronian boys having a slanging match outside my window.

'You f**king told me it was round here you f**ing c**t'
'No i didn't you f**ker'
'F**k you'
'No you F**k you'
'Go f**k yourself!'
'Well I'll f**king have tae if we cannae find this f**ing brothel'

I almost stuck my head out of the window to tell them that:
a. it was in the next street along and
b. the polis had closed it down two weeks ago.

However; even I have some self preservation instinct so I kept my pearls of wisdom to myself and watched them try to drunkenly beat the crap out of each other with one hand on my mobile in case an ambulance was needed. Luckily, they were all too pished for their punches to connect with anything and they disappeared into the night.