Hoors? Yeah... Hoors. Prostitutes, Tarts, Hookers, Ladies of Negotiable Affection, call them what you will. For 8 years or so I lived in granite tenement. My Neighbours Were Hoors. Sadly for us all (!?) the brothel was closed down and I moved out of the area. I never did get around to writing about the court case though...

Sunday, August 22, 2004

A Falling Out

I'll keep this brief because, to be quite honest, I haven't a bloody clue what was going on last night...

I was woken up at about half three in the morning by bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang... (of the slamming on door kind, not of any other banging the hoors might be doing) and to start off with i didn't even realise the screaming was in english...

So it took me ages to wake up and figure out what was happening (as usual) and I figured out it was this:

1) two hoors work in the ground floor flat together (rather than one hoor and one welsh dumpling).
2) Hoor one has nicked 100 quid and run off with it.
3) Hoor one has shacked up with the 24 hour party people and is refusing to come out.
4) This is why Hoor two is now banging furiously on the door of the 24 hour party people and why I am not getting any sleep.

Evidence for this conclusion:
1) hoor number two banging on door of 24 hour party people in what I figured out to be a Yorkshire accent going "Come out ya bitch! That's my money too you know!"
2) Hoor number two going "If you don't come out I'm phoning the
3) Hoor number one and 24 hour party people keeping very still and silent.
4) Hoor number two making a very loud and pointed phonecall to the police featuring the following quotes:
- "Hi yes. My friend has stolen 100 quid and has shacked up with the wierdo druggie upstairs. She's not coming out"
- "No, we're both from leeds. We're just staying here with a... friend."
- "What do i want you to do about it? I want you to go in there and get me bloody munnee!"

I got names and ages and everything... but I won't use them. That'd be crass.

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