My Neighbours Are Hoors!: Quiet

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Quiet

OK so I've not updated for a while. This is partially due to Apathy. (So powerful an influence it gets a capital letter)

However the real reason is this:

Things are suspiciously quiet down there (I mean in the brothel. I'm not about to start bitter posts about my love life ;))

It's not like the good old days when we'd have two hoors having a cat fight in the street!

Or when the madam used to stand on the doorstep looking like an extra from 1960's Coronation Street!

Or when The Dead Man would come and rant to me about "what those WIMMIN have been up to!"

I'm actually starting to wonder if they've been evicted or something... Mail is still arriving for them though, so I guess they are still in existance.

Anyway! To entertain you whilst the hoors are too busy entertaining to be entertaining... I present to you a NEW WRITER to My Neighbours Are Hoors!

Yes... my good friend who has been living over the other side of town for about 6 months has discovered that her neighbours are just as interesting. And, in fact, HER NEIGHBOURS WERE HOORS! Except they've just been EVICTED! For PRRRROSTITUTION! Seeing as how most of you know where The Grey Toon is by now, I have no shame in presenting to you...

The My Neighbours Are Hoors TILLYDRONE CORRESPONDANT.

First post coming soon ;)

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Cast of Main Players

Back in 2006, I decided to list the main players in my blog in a handy column to ease any reader's confusion. That, and I wanted The Nice Neighbours to read this before they thought I was slagging them off and were likely to come downstairs to beat me up with a big hammer!

This is the text as it stood in January 2006.

NEIGHBOUR OF TEH HOORS - i.e. ME. I have been living above a brothel for almost eight years. The novelty still hasn't worn off.

THE HOORS live on the ground floor in a one bedroom flat and are Prostitutes. They aren't from round these parts, but come up to The Grey Toon from places like London, Liverpool, Bristol and Birmingham because the The Grey Toon is tolerant and full of oil money.

THE DEAD MAN is the (ex?) alcoholic who used to look like a Zombie. Has been looking very healthy lately, so I think he's given up the drink.

THE COUNCIL MAN livesw on the ground floor opposite the hoors and is a very nice man. He works for the council and once offered me the use of his drain rods.

SHETLAND BOY lives with his girlfriend in the flat above me. Both are ideal neighbours. Not actually from Shetland. I think one of my friends thought he was and so the name stuck.

SHETLAND GIRL owns the flat next to Shetland Boy and is also very lovely. She has moved out though, and her Little Brother lives there now. Again, not actually from Shetland.

LITTLE BROTHER/BUSTED now live in Shetland Girl's flat. Seemed to be very polite spikey haired youths until they started holding chimp's tea parties but with Tennents and not Tetleys.

TNWTCH or, The Neighbour With The Cool Hair - lives next to me (Edit from 2012 - lovely, lovely bloke who I ever bump into when I'm steamin'). One couldn't wish for a better neighbour.

THE BOY - is my boyfriend who moved in a month or so ago. So far he is not put off by the fact his girlfriend lives above a brothel.