"Neighbour of the Hoors" (my friend doesn't actually call me this. But I CLING to my anonymity like a Big Brother Contestant does to their 15 minutes of fame...),
"Dunno if one of your hoors has been on a fieldtrip...
Was walking to work today - was running a bit late and feeling a bit brave so decided to take a detour through darkest central Tillydrone.
All was as quiet as you would expect on a Monday morning in a place where few people have work to rush to and the blossom of the trees managed to lull me into a springlike reverie. That was until I noticed that the branch of one of the trees was covered with something which was definitely not blossom. No. Someone had thoughtfully covered up the spring flowers with a beautiful black lace crotchless g-string and matching peep hole bra. Perhaps the property of a horticultural hoor or one with a head for heights and a great sense of balance???