I come home from a hard night's doing-what-I-do-of-an-evening (keep it clean guys) and try to park somewhere closer to my flat than... say... STONEfeckingHAVEN!!!
Can I?
No.
Why?
Because some fecker has parked his car outside the hoors flat - taking up TWO SPACES!!!
I'm going to go right down there and draw a cock in the frost on his windscreen. With a finger dipped in grease so he'll never get rid of it.
HAH.
Well... Not that many years ago I lived above a brothel in the Grey Toon in Scotland. Out of a confused mixture of irritation and amusement, I started to blog about it.
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