Hoors? Yeah... Hoors. Prostitutes, Tarts, Hookers, Ladies of Negotiable Affection, call them what you will. For 8 years or so I lived in granite tenement. My Neighbours Were Hoors. Sadly for us all (!?) the brothel was closed down and I moved out of the area. I never did get around to writing about the court case though...

Monday, July 24, 2006

The Missionaries - Part 2

So, I previously told you about when we found out about our Missionary neighbours a few years back when I was a student.

They were Mormon Missionaries and lived directly above us. They were always females and although I'm sure they all looked different, to my aging mind they were all blonde clones of Hayley Mills in her youth (or the Olsen Sisters for those of you too young to remember Ms Mills). Occasionally they were visited by smartly dressed blonde Good Mormon Boys and another neighbour of ours once repeated a rumour that "they've been up to ALL SORTS OF HANKY PANKY!" (which became a stock phrase in our household from that moment on).

More than once there was a buzz at 8am on a sunday and a rather hungover Neighbour Of Teh Missionaries got to the intercom system and went "Nyugh. Yeahr?" only to be cheerily greated with "Goooood Morning Sister Gwendoline! I've got about 5000 Booksa Mormon out here Furya!"

Other than the early morning awakenings, they really were a joy to have as neighbours - they never once spoke to us about their religion, cheered us up by their singing (which was only irritating when we had hangovers), and never made any more noise than hoovering.

They were always hoovering - For Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness.

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