Hoors? Yeah... Hoors. Prostitutes, Tarts, Hookers, Ladies of Negotiable Affection, call them what you will. For 8 years or so I lived in granite tenement. My Neighbours Were Hoors. Sadly for us all (!?) the brothel was closed down and I moved out of the area. I never did get around to writing about the court case though...

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

My Neighbours Were Missionaries

So I'm back from holiday now and from what I can make out, bugger all happened while I was away. However, I feel that you, my loyal readers, deserve more than that - hence I'm about to tell you about some other neighbours I had previous to moving in above the brothel. Yeah. Missionaries!

It was when I was a student and my good friend and I had rented a flat in one of the most popular student areas of the Grey Toon. We were moving in one sunny saturday and we went to put our names on the buzzer. While we were there, we peered at the other buzzer names and were delighted to see one buzzer, not with just a name, but with a colourful hand drawn picture of a wooden cross on a green hill with a smiling yellow sun in a blue sky. Below this was written "The Missionaries!"

In a moment of youthful delight we dashed inside, found our own crayons and did our own buzzer label stating that the new tennents (amongst some badly drawn orange and red flames) were "Satan's Happy Little Helpers!" We laughed and all was fun. Everyone who came to our flatwarming that night thought it was fun too.

So the next morning we were awakened (not for the first time) by a rousing chorus (all in perfect harmony... it was like living below the Osmonds) of "His Name Is Jesus" (which was their favourite song. We soon learnt the words.)

Then there was the mad panic to get dressed and run outside to remove our hilarious buzzer sticker. Oops.

(Yeah ok, we did consider changing it to "The Newborn Converts" - but thought that might not go down too well with them upstairs)

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