A Friend Helps Out A Crack Dealer In Need

So a friend of mine has given me permission to tell you all about an incident down at the Castlegate last saturday night around 3.30am...

He was taking the long way home from his night-time job and was passing through the Castlegate, when he saw some poor lost looking type asking some locals where he could find a hoor. Said locals were full of the grey-toon wit and were trying to send him up King Street, towards Holburn Street or off to Rosemount - basically anywhere in town he wouldn't find street prostitution. Ho ho ho. What hilarity. What a jolly jape.

So my friend took pity on this poor chap and, assuming he was a lost sailor looking for a girl in a lonely port, directed him to the streets operating under the Grey Toon's famous tolerance zone down at the harbour...

"Awww thaaanks mate!" he said, showing himself to be local and not off some foreign boat at all...

"Ah'm just looking fur a hoor tae sell this to afore ah go hame!" and at this he held out a grubby handful of crack... "I huvnae enough money fur chips and and a taxi an' need tae sell this furst!"

He turned and walked off towards the hoors and the harbour leaving my Good Samaritan friend standing at the Castlegate with his mouth open and his sense of good will a bit battered.